ssalc siht tuoba glob (backerds)

This class was an overall free for all. Frantically panicking about blogs papers and quizes when you never know if youll end up having to do them. Im sure many would agree that the constant quizes were enough to keep you on your toes. However, without them we would have not been motivated enough to read the stories.

Draft for Tyrese gets a wake up call

Feeling the familiar pain shoot through his chest Tyrese knew too well what happened as he lay once again helpless. Being a few feet from the hospital doors he assumed that there would be help on the way, but as the seconds became minutes and what Tyrese perceived to be hours he began to lose hope. Feeling colder and colder Tyrese slowly began to give himself to the darkness that had begun to consume him. Before he knew it he began to feel light as though he was floating and faded away from reality.

            What he didn’t realize was he had passed out from blood loss and was now being carried back into the building by a man much younger than himself who just so happened to be in the neighborhood.

            As the man burst into the door, his suit dripping with blood, he noticed a small frail woman behind the admittance counter. Looking to her for a clue she could do nothing but stare. Knowing that this was getting nowhere he started to run through the halls looking for anyone that could relieve him of the mess that was Tyrese. Seeing no solution to his dilemma he began to lose hope for Tyrese. As he rounded the hospital narrow corner he found himself pummeling a small nurse. After picking herself up and without hesitation she ushered him into a nearby room where the man set Tyrese on the bed. She then grabbed the phone and within seconds everyone that was nowhere to be found suddenly appeared around the corner.

            The nurse relieved the situation to Dr. Jones and left the room with the man to ask him questions. After hearing his explanation of the events that had just occurred she led him to a room where he could wait until the police arrived. Sitting in his blood caked suit the man rubbed his brow he pulled out his license figuring the police would want to see his I.D. As he read his Jamal Jordan he began to think back to the days in the orphanage when he had Jordan added to his name.

Tyrese goes to Disney World Part 3

Tyrese walked Lorena to his Cadillac, opened the doors and threw his stuff in the back seat, and then told Lorena to wait in his car for him while he “paid the bill”.  With Lorena safely out of sight and mind he entered the lobby to settle accounts.  The manager greeted Tyrese with a chipper, “Good Morning,” and Tyrese greeted him with an empty drawer and two holes in his chest in return.

A few hours and a few conversations later Lorena had revealed that her brothers owned a small business in Florida just outside of Miami.  Her brother’s were in the loan and merchandise sales business, she said.  A man like Tyrese could really be of use in the debt collection department if he were interested.  After learning of this Tyrese decided to leave his plans for Disney behind and change course for Miami.  

Once there Tyrese met up with her brothers and immediately started discussing business. They welcomed Tyrese in with open arms.  Lorena had been right; Tyrese was just the sort of guy they had been looking for.  They told him who owed money and who was in for a new deal and he immediately got to work. He left Lorena with her brothers and cruised towards downtown Miami lead by the GPS her brother’s had provided.  It would make a nice fence, Tyrese thought, if the brothers’ payoff didn’t pan out. 

Tyrese rolled up in his Cadillac to a small trailer that put off a mile wide aura of smoke. He got out of his car and walked to the front door.  Just as he went to knock he was greeted by three men. Tyrese threw his 135 lbs frame into the action and stated his business before demanding the money that was owed to the brothers.  What he got was a chest full of lead.  The three men then fled after taking Tyrese’s keys and his car leaving him for dead.  Tyrese laid there for two hours slowly bleeding to death and contemplating the errors of his ways.  Eventually one of the neighbors got tired of hearing his moans and called an ambulance which arrived and rushed him to the local hospital.  Close call, Tyrese thought days later as he recovered from his wounds.  He had been patched up and told that one of the bullets grazed his spine leaving him a paraplegic. In the three weeks he spent in Miami Memorial Tyrese never once thought of his wife and kids back in New York.  Instead all he could think about was how different things would have been if he had just gone to Disney World.  As he wheeled his way out of the hospital on the final day of his stay, for all of his troubles Tyrese was greeted by his Cadillac and a few more shells meant to finish the job.

Tyrese goes to Disney World Part 2

This was typical Tyrese behavior.  His current situation was par for the course really.  Tyrese had left a path of familial carnage that stretched over four states, and included three ex-girlfriends, two ex-wives, and six kids, all because somehow he always found a way to leave his old life for what seemed like a better one.  This time though, Tyrese thought to himself, this trip to Florida would be the turning point that would change all of that.  Tyrese couldn’t wait until Monday.  If he was going to do it then the sooner the better. 

Taking the money he had been hoarding behind his newest wife’s back for such an occasion Tyrese made his way to the local Wal-Mart.  Perusing the racks, he found a brand new XXL shirt with Bob Marley on the front and the phrase “Live High” in big white letters on the back. He also found a pair of jeans on clearance and left the store only spending $10 leaving the greatest amount of his hoarded cash for the most important part of his apparel; great shoes.  Tyrese strutted through the Wal-Mart parking lot and jumped in his Cadillac with his $500 spinners and revved his way to the local Footlocker.   There he bought himself a $135 pair of Nike Airs and cruised home.  When he got there, Tyrese stashed his newly bought attire under his side of the bed, and over the course of the next week he packed his small drawstring backpack with his comb, his 2 ounce bag of Mary Jane and an assortment of wrapping materials to wait for his chance to escape.

The next Sunday arrived with the rampaging alarm and the wife and kids making their way to God once more and Tyrese lay as still as he could and waited for the commotion to disappear.  When he was sure they were gone he jumped out of bed and pulled his stash from under the bed.  Tyrese got dressed and then pulled out his 45 from under the mattress, shined it with the bed sheets, and shoved it in the front of his new jeans.  He then made his way out the door and into his Cadillac.  Revving up the engine for what he hoped would be the last time in this driveway. Tyrese pulled out and was on the way to Florida with nothing but his drawstring bag, a roll of 20’s and his 45.

Making the occasional rest stops and fast food stops along the way Tyrese found himself in Georgia in no time.  He was tired from the long day’s drive and the restless night of anticipation before so he decided to stay in a hotel for a night.  Walking in the front of the hotel he noticed a few roaches worshipping a donut in the corner. Not exactly his first choice, Tyrese thought, but in a pinch it would do.  He talked to the owner, got his key for room 321, and made his way to an actual night sleep.

 Tyrese awoke the next morning to the sound of someone rustling though the room.  He quietly reached under his pillow where he had stashed his 45 before clicking on the lamp in a rush and aiming the gun at the unsuspecting person.  The house keeper turned around meeting the sights of his 45 and stood frozen in fear.  Tyrese now realizing who it was tucked away his little friend and got up to greet the newly found busty Latino house keeper.  He told her his story and where he was headed and offered her to come along if she was interested.  She stood there still frozen.   He shrugged and told her that she didn’t know what she was missing. 

The housekeeper quietly departed as Tyrese turned away from her and started getting dressed.  Making his way down the stairs to the lobby he encountered the housekeeper once more.  She stopped him in the stairwell.  Somehow the danger he had just put her in had increased her sexual interest and before Tyrese knew it they were going at it.  Tyrese didn’t know what was going on but wasn’t going to complain.  After they were through the housekeeper explained that her name was Lorena and that she had a thing for danger and black men.  This time, with no convincing, she agreed to go with him.

Tyrese goes to Disney World Part 1

The alarm started its nagging rampage long before the sun broke the horizon.  Being a Sunday morning meant that the wife’s church going habits were to blame.  As she gathered the kids and primped herself, her husband Tyrese lay still in the bed.  He had no use for such a place.  Tyrese had even been quoted as saying once, “It steals a man’s sleep and everyone knows that a man’s sleep is not to be messed with.  Besides who wants to go to a loud ass church where everyone screams about God?  I’d rather hit it up with my boys then go have my ears raped by their pointless praising.”

Knowing Tyrese’s feelings on the matter, his wife left him snoring as she and the children departed to God’s house.  After his family rolled out of the driveway Tyrese rolled out of bed trudged to the bathroom and turned on the shower.  Looking into the mirror, as he let the water warm up enough to get in the shower, Tyrese could see what remained of the once all state afro-American track star in high school.   He had been at the top of his game then.  Trim and lean, Tyrese had been a lightning bolt on the track and a thunder crack in the sack.  Now all that remained was a six foot three inch 135 pound high-school dropout obsessed with any woman but his wife and who made his living off the weekly unemployment checks that showed up in the mail.

After taking a shower Tyrese went to the kitchen and rummaged through the cabinets of mix-matched articles that couldn’t quite make up a decent meal between all of them.  In the back, behind a half used box of cream of wheat and some old stale crackers Tyrese discovered an opened box of fruity pebbles.  He pulled a recycled whip-cream bowl from the clean dish tray and started pouring the rainbow. As the mix of Yellow, red, and green began to fill his dish Tyrese noticed that a ticket had fallen out of the box and onto the floor.

He bent over and picked up the slip of paper and read aloud, “Enter this code online for a chance to win an all expenses paid trip to Disney!!!” 

Tyrese put the bowl on the counter and took the ticket over to his prehistoric pc that laid dust covered on a rickety desk supported on one side by unused books in the corner.  As the pc grumbled awake Tyrese could hear a faint growl of the processer as it strained itself and the ticking of the fan from the back of its tower.  Tyrese went to retrieve his bowl of sugary goodness and stood there watching the pc load as he chewed.  When it finally loaded the desktop image of a scantily clad underwear model, Tyrese set the bowl down on a stack of old Track and Field magazines next to the desk and pulled out the kitchen chair seconding for a desk chair and sat down. 

Tyrese surfed his way through the pop-ups asking him to visit this naked girl and that until he finally found the website listed on the slip he had found and entered the code.  To his surprise Tyrese found that he had won.  Immediately Tyrese saw this as his opportunity to escape his dull life in small town New York so he began to formulate a plan.  He could see it all materializing in his mind.  He would buy all he needed while his wife was at work this week, stash it under the bed, and next Sunday, as she drove off to God’s house, he would grab all he needed and leave his poe dunk little town.

The Millers Tale

The Millers tale is by far my favorite tale in the Canterbury tales. It has everything from adultery, to funny religious pranks, to a hot poker in someones "arse" i mean whats not to love? I also enjoyed Nicks nickname Tricky Nicky i believe that fit him perfectly. And who could forget the carpenter the man that hung himself to the rafters in a bathtub to escape the predicted flood. First of all if there is going to be a flood that compares to that of Noah's no one will survive unless god willed it. And if God willed for someone to survive a bathtub I'm sure is not God's suggestion on surviving. It is not going to hold you. Your house and bathtub will sadly be swallowed by the giant waves that would cover the earth. Sadly the Carpenter falls for this trick that Nicky plays on him and and his ignorance loses his social standing and his wife. Then again he did see his wife as a bit of a trophy so i suppose he got what he deserved.
To wrap up my rampaging ill share what i believed to be the best part in the whole story. Nicky just after relieving himself goes to the window to greet Absalom's lips with his "arse" and after farting so hard him his face that it almost blinds him (ALMOST BLINDS HIM i thought that was funny can you imagine how much of a force it must have been to make him flinch?) he gets a hot iron (so hot its orange for those of you that have ever had or seen an orange ember from a campfire or coals know exactly how hot that is) shoved into his "arse" that is hilarious and and at the same time very painful. So painful in fact that when i read that it started to melt away his flesh and cause boils i even cringed. And then to top it off the Carpenter falls from the ceiling in his bathtub and breaks his arm as he hits the floor. Imagine all the chaos Nicky screaming The carpenter smashes into the floor like a meteor and Absalom is either laughing or ran away or maybe eating dirt to get Nicky's fart taste out of his mouth. And I'm also sure Alison is freaking cause she doesn't know what is going on.
I guess ill wrap it up now but this was one of the best stories i have ever heard.

Beowolf's Heroic Aura?

At the beginning of Beowulf it tells of how Grendel (a demon descended from Cain) is terrorizing the people of Danes and after twelve years Hrothgar is powerless to stop him and yadayada Grendel now controls Heorot. Hearing of what has happened Beowulf decides to take the challenge and rides to help this noble cause. As he approaches Hrothgar's kingdom he and his men are stopped and questioned by a watchmen. The watchmen demands Beowulf tell him his business. Beowulf explains that he is there with his many armored soldiers to help fight Grendel. This shows to me that Beowulf must have an aura that he puts of that makes those he speaks to believe he is there for for a noble and heroic cause. I mean Grendel is a DEMON. A demon that has not been able to be stopped for 12 years and all of a sudden one man with his small army strolls up and claims they can slay the beast. I figured there would be a bit more questioning but no they just let him walk right into the kingdom for all they knew he could have just claimed a hero and pulled the old Trojan horse trick. I mean he is a hero but the watchmen don't really think twice before letting him walk into the kingdom they just take his word and let them go on his way.

My Character- Essay 1

Okay so most of you had quite a laugh when i described my character in class so just in case you would like your characters to meet mine in your "trip to Disney" ill be happy to provide a description.

Name: Tyrese Conner
Ethnicity: Afroamerican
Likes: Watermelon, Grape Juice, KFC
Occupation: Unemployed
Description: 6 foot 4 inches tall dark hair that he always has into cornrows, but keeps a comb in his small drawstring bag for when he "goes afro", has 8 kids but has only seen 2, has never been married, Won trip to Disney from a cereal box, wears $150 outfits with his shoes being $135, has rims more expensive then his cadillac, Womanizer, prefers white women but wont turn his nose at any woman big or small. Never met his daddy, enjoys basketball and the other luxuries of the hood.

Hope this unique character finds his way into many of your stories!